Preparing for Baseball Season

I'm not one to be a fanatic about displaying my loyalties to my teams I'm cheering for, but my husband is.  That man has so many Pirate, Steeler and Pens gear, it puts some crazy Pittsburghers to shame.  And he wasn't even raised here!  Now of course, this has gotten worse since he moved up here over a year ago.  It's almost too easy to shop for him.  I just head to Dick's, ProImage, Sideline Store or kiosk wherever I am and I can find something he'll love.  Personally, it's been a challenge to find stuff for women that I would want to wear without looking extremely tacky.  Lots of women in this city love wearing jerseys, knee socks with logos all over them and black and yellow mardi gras beads while chugging a beer bong in the parking lot outside of the stadiums.  I understand, it's part of the tailgating experience.  Unfortunately for me, I work every home game for the Steelers so I can not partake in the tailgating festivities.  As much as I love my job, there are moments when walking to the stadium I hear music blasting from the RVs in the parking lots around me and become slightly jealous of the parties just beginning to rage at 8 am on Sunday mornings.  Then I realize its -2 degrees out and I am more than happy to sit behind my desk, behind glass in the control room with the best view in the house without a parka and gloves on.

Anyway, I have always loved the southern traditions of the girls getting dressed up for football games.  Not like some of the girls up here in tube tops and shredded jean skirts with stilettos and hopes that one of the players sees them out of the tens of thousands of people in the stands.  Well, I guess that's anywhere!  I was not used to the southern way of game day dress when I went to my first game at South Carolina and was quickly made aware that my jeans and tshirt were not acceptable.  At first I found it ridiculous, but then looking around at all the beautiful girls all dressed up in garnet and black from their adorable hair bows to their matching bracelets and necklaces, did I realize that I in fact LOVED this way of showing love for their team!  From then on, it's been tough to think anything less is acceptable.

Now, I am not opposed to jeans and shorts, etc.  Just that it looks classy, not trashy.  When I attended the College World Series in Omaha in 2011 to cheer on my husband (boyfriend then) and the Aggies, I wore shorts, but I tried my best to make them acceptable.  And that was baseball, I'm still unclear of the rules for baseball attire for women.  Which leads me to my point.  My husband is a die-hard Pirates fan, almost got traded to them at one point in his career, therefore, we attend many games.  Last year, I was pregnant and did not enjoy the sunshine and fair-weathered fans as much as I used to, but this year, I don't PLAN on being pregnant and want to enjoy our hometown team as much as Kyle does.  Without the tackiness, here are a few items I have found that I wouldn't mind wearing to PNC Park this season:

http://pin.fanatics.com/MLB_Pittsburgh_Pirates_Ladies/Nike_Pittsburgh_Pirates_Ladies_Cotton_Tank_Top_-_Black

http://pin.fanatics.com/MLB_Pittsburgh_Pirates_Ladies/Nike_Pittsburgh_Pirates_Ladies_Deep_V_Logo_Slim_Fit_T-Shirt_-_White

http://pinterest.com/pin/80079699596378579/

http://pinterest.com/pin/80079699596378585/

http://pinterest.com/pin/80079699596379243/

http://pinterest.com/pin/80079699596379264/

Unfortunately, in Pittsburgh, you never know what the weather will be, even in June.  So I think a couple of these outfits would work for me.  And if you prefer the bumble bee knee highs and tube tops, go right ahead, rock it girl.  At least the Pirates have fans!

Being a stay at home mom is overwhelming.  It is the most rewarding job, but it is also the hardest.  I'm struggling with my new identity as a married mother of two from being a career, single mother.  I made this choice.  And I decided I would work during football season with the Steelers, but now in the off season, I find myself struggling to find time for me.  Between diaper changes, meals, bottles, the swiffer and Clorox wipes, I have realized my mind is wandering to thoughts that are not positive or encouraging.  I feel lost and although I am maintaining control in my household (something I did not have before I was married), I see myself losing control of my identity.  I am reading that this is a very real transition and one that most women who make this choice go through.  I am seeing a therapist because of the backlash of my daughter's 4 month long colic.  Honestly, I was a zombie through it all and it is now bringing up a lot of emotions and thoughts I am having a hard time dealing with now that she has settled down and I am starting to gain back some sense of control.  Colic doesn't just affect your baby, it affects your whole family, in ways you never imagined.  My husband and I both had and do have different ways of dealing with stress and we are learning about them, about each other, everyday.

My therapist told me that this transition I'm going through is a gift and if I can just hold on, it is going to bloom beautifully.  I will see this new person I am growing into.  I know this is a growth period for me, and certainly my husband as well, but it is painful.  It is so hard.  I would never change anything about my life right now.  I am in love with a wonderful man who takes care of me and our family without fail, everyday.  I have an amazing son who is about to turn 8 in April who is so smart and talented.  I just am so in love with him too.  My daughter is almost 6 months old and becoming her own little person.  It's so amazing to watch her grow.  I pray every night over here in her crib that she would be a daughter of Christ, strong, powerful, gentle, compassionate and loving.  We have everything we need and want, but I still feel like I need to find "me" again.

Not only is it healthy to not let go of yourself, for yourself, but for your husband and family.  I believe the saying goes, "women marry men hoping they will change, and men marry women hoping they stay the same."  So I know as a wife, I want to remain, basically the same woman I was before we got married, but now, just improved!  The adjustments I'm going through emotionally, mentally and even physically (getting my body back) really takes it's toll on me some days.  I know the house doesn't have to be spotless but I feel like if I let it go, even for a day, it'll get out of control.  But having a clean house makes me feel better, and almost accomplished!  But I want to accomplish other things... I just have to figure out what I want to do!  But then I think about what I need and want to do for my children and my husband and I forget about all that.  I guess it's just the cycle I'm in right now.

This is just how I'm feeling today.  Didn't know if there were any other moms out there feeling the same way!  You're not alone!  Even though talking to a 5 month old all day can make you feel very alone :)